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President Trump Introduces Plan to Replace Affordable Care Act to Confused Applause

March 01, 2017 by Jeff Holwell in us, politics

In his first speech to Congress Tuesday, President Trump gave the country a new glimpse at his plan to replace Obamacare. After once again touting the standard GOP talking point of repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act to raucous applause from 40% of the assembly, Mr. Trump elaborated for the first time on what that might actually look like.

"Once the disastrous failed Obamacare is repealed we will replace it with such a great, great thing. A tremendous thing. I promised it would be tremendous and so many great people are going to be helped with this new plan, and America will finally win at healthcare." Mr. Trump paused to let the applause of half the room quiet before continuing. "GoFundMe will be an integral part of my new plan to help Americans. We will expand it greatly and we will help so many people. Healthcare is so so complex an issue, I never knew. But we can finally see the answer and it is so very, very simple."

The president pleaded with both sides of the aisle as he further explained his plan. "I want Democrats and Republicans to come together and help roll out a GoFundMe act that Americans need. GoFundMe. So great. I didn't even know what this thing is. It is a thing and it is right here in front of us, but I didn't know. An intern told me recently he was helping a friend on this GoFundMe and I said to the intern, what is this thing? He opened his Facebook and showed me and you wouldn't believe it, there are so many of these things already! It is working bigly for everybody. Much better than Obamacare. I said, this is it. We totally got it. We just fixed healthcare, believe me."

Mr. Trump paused for brief moment of confused applause before continuing. "The brilliant American people are already solving this problem without our help, and I said, but what if we helped? How much are surgeries? Maybe $100-$200? I want Congress to figure out how to help add $100 to each of these GoFundMe pages for the surgeries of the American people. This will be so much cheaper than the disaster we have now and so much better. People will get likes on their Facebook posts and they will get so much help from their doctors with this new system. With the GoFundMe Act and the prayers of my Vice President, Mike Pence, we will have the healthiest country in the world, in the history of the world. This is great. This is really so, so great."

Experts were quick to weigh in after the speech with a resounding consensus. Emily Parsons, a healthcare industry expert with 35 years of experience, told Probably Legit, "This is not a sustainable healthcare plan. This is hardly a plan at all. I would strongly advise against replacing the Affordable Care Act with the GoFundMe Act, and once again, for the benefit of millions of Americans, I would strongly urge the president to focus on repairing and improving the Affordable Care Act with sensible actions, and not to replace it with an idea he had after a 10 minute conversation with an intern."

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March 01, 2017 /Jeff Holwell
us, politics
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