Fox News Asks For Respect and Acceptance as they Transition from Racist to Sexist News Organization

In an exclusive interview with Probably Legit, Roger Ailes, CEO of Fox News Channel, admits, "This is a pretty sacred time for our organization. I mean sure there was a certain satisfaction to some of the racist talking points we've promoted over the years, but to be honest we were mostly just going through the motions for the last six or seven years to appease our viewers. When the board of directors and I looked hard in the mirror, we knew we weren't being true to our authentic selves. We've been a sexist company trapped in a racist network for nearly eight years now. All we ask for is respect and understanding as we make our transition and become the news organization we feel we were always meant to be."

With Donald Trump outlasting the pack and Hillary Clinton ready to clinch the democratic nomination, Ailes explains that while they were ready years ago, this is really the perfect time in the history of this country for his company to make its transition. "Here at Fox News, we anticipate a Hillary presidency, but we will be extremely pleased with either candidate. We either get an actual women to constantly berate or we get a person that actively hates women and treats them with what we feel is an appropriate level of respect that will really help the way we shape the opinions of our country's simpletons."

The CEO reflects on how close Fox was to making the transition eight years ago, stating, "Obama winning in 2008 really hurt. There was such an internal struggle on whether we should go through with it anyway, but his blackness really constricted the amount of time we could spend belittling women. But while the country saw a racist news organization on the outside, corporate was in the backrooms planning for this very moment. We are going to have a one hour show on prime time television every night dedicated to criticizing Hillary's appearance that day. And we are going to be ruthless."

Almost giddy with excitement, Ailes goes on to explain, "We will break her. If she does anything good, we will imply that Bill Clinton likely let her take credit for his handiwork. If she makes a mistake we will question her emotional stability and suggest that a wild hot flash outburst has resulted in another catastrophe."

The controversial executive cautions, "We have to be careful though." Fox understands that half of its current viewers are women and being too negative might result in backlash from a section of the population that might not be comfortable with the transition. "We will have to constantly remind our female viewers that they hold their homes, families and this country together, while prefacing any heinous attacks on women with the phrases 'radical left wing' or 'delusional'. We have a team of scientists ready to go on record to claim that the brains of radical left wing women are two thirds the size of a man's brain and should never be allowed to make important policy decisions. It will definitely be a balancing act. We don't want any prejudiced retaliations from people that don't understand our transition. At the end of the day, we just want to do the news in peace."   

Asked why it was so important to Fox News that Hillary fail and they play such a critical role, Ailes concludes the interview by stating, "She simply must fail. And this is what we were born for. This is who we truly are. And we will be relentless. Who is going to make us sandwiches if a nation of young women become inspired and think they can succeed at whatever they want? That's not a country we're prepared to live in. I don't even know how to make my own sandwich. And I'm confident I'll never need to learn. Not on Fox's watch." 

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